It’s the season of giving. Are you good at receiving?

Here is my struggle. I love to give gifts. It’s my primary love language. I pay attention to what people like and love to surprise them. I enjoy making sweets/baking and sharing them. Just yesterday my colleague said that lunch is her favorite time of day because she sees me. Do you think it’s maybe the (almost) guilt free chocolate I brought with me?

It’s so FUN to be the gifter and much more challenging to be the receiver. When I was in a different financial situation, I was more creative in my gifting. I made lots of gifts. It really is the thought that counts sometimes.

I learned to be more graceful when receiving gifts. When there is no money left over to buy groceries after paying the bills and someone gives you a grocery store gift card, it’s not a coincidence. It’s God’s provision.

Even though my head knows that God is providing and in ways I can’t imagine, there is that moment of relief and wonder of “how did they know?”. There was one point on my journey where gift cards would arrive from people about every other month, always at the right time. Did they coordinate? I will never know. I don’t need to.

I talked with a spiritual director about this very thing over the weekend. I struggle with being on the receiving end of gifts. Intellectually, I know what’s happening. God lined up what I need and the people who are going to make that happen. It always shows up at exactly the right moment. So what’s the problem with being gracious in acceptance?

There are lots of thoughts depending on the size of the gift. Maybe I’m not worthy of a gift that big. No one has shown me that sort of kindness before….should I go on with the things we tell ourselves? The person giving the gift thinks, why can’t you just be happy? The spiritual director’s guidance was that it’s another trust exercise. Can I trust that the gift is for my good and that I am worthy of receiving it?

How do you think God feels when he sends us help, gives us gifts, in general loves us in all of our imperfection and we can’t or don’t say thank you? Gosh, I would feel crushed. Does God feel that way or does he just shake his head?

This season, Lord, may I remember that gifting is fun, but receiving with a grateful heart is just as important. May I have the grace to sincerely thank each person who gives me a gift and recognize that they chose it just for me, sometimes for a very specific reason. I may not be able to say it in words at the time, it may not come out right, but know that I am grateful. Thank you.