What to do when we don’t really want to forgive someone who wronged us.
This has been on my mind lately. I’ve been procrastinating on this post because well, I just don’t want to. What happens if I don’t? There were two sermons in a row about forgiving people at the end of summer. I asked the deacon (who happens to be a friend of mine) after mass if I really have to forgive. According to Scripture? Yes. In real life? No, but I am then missing out on the graces of doing so. Ugh. Really?
I know I should, but why? They hurt and betrayed me, why do they get my forgiveness? Recently, I was out walking and thinking about people who had been in my life in the past few years and events that occurred. I also came to the place of “it’s time to forgive them”. I dislike this place, but I have grieved the loss of those relationships and it’s time to start letting go.
Holding on to the hurt, only hurts me. They have moved on. I have moved on too, but I haven’t completely let it go. The truth that we don’t talk about is that it’s hard to forgive people. Since the anger and resentment have left me, I have no malice towards any of them. Vengeance is not mine- they will get what is coming to them.
I need to forgive to free me from the past. It’s about me and not them. I want to be a kind, loving person, I can’t do that if I still hold a grudge. Don’t get me wrong this won’t happen overnight, but if I start moving in that direction, it’s coming.
You aren’t a bad person if you don’t want to forgive someone right away- you are human. Thank goodness God has endless grace, mercy, and forgiveness enough for all of us. Ask God for forgiveness and it’s yours. Ask a human for the same? Probably won’t go that way, but you can be the example. Consider it. By forgiving the other person, peace will come to you. That’s worth it for sure. All I’m asking is you take one step- make one move towards it. Maybe forgiveness doesn’t happen today, but what about tomorrow?
